Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize