in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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