i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
of course. lets lasso hookers.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
