I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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