You smell like a Billy Joel song
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
