i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
There are leaves in my underwear?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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