Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
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I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
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She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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