You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
