Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
