I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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