Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
her vagine was all disorganized.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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