My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
