i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize