why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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