Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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