I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I came so hard my ears popped.
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