1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
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I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
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If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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