What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
