My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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