escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
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Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
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Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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