I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
