I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
