I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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