She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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