you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
