Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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