batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
