I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
