i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
