i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
