There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
