You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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