Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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