went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
