im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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