sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
