its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There are leaves in my underwear?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
