the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
