My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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