Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize