hell yes lets make some ravioli
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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