I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
