Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
