I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
