i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
