Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
