someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
