Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
