Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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