Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
