I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
