No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There's always time for handjobs
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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