i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
