My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
