I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
