How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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