I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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