Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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