She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize