Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
