I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
