That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
