whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize