Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
True strength comes from lack of pants
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
